LAND THISStop them. Make them actually consider the question, not nod at it.

• 

• GOOD MORNING, everyone! My name is FuMing.
• Yesterday, Kevin showed us the POWER OF DECISION TREES.
• Today I want to talk about a decision tree that is MORE PERSONAL…
• your LIFE DECISION TREE.
• Every CHOICE we make becomes a BRANCH on that tree.
• So let's begin with ONE QUESTION:

• 

• WHAT IS TRULY WORTH LIVING FOR?
• Not merely what is USEFUL, IMPRESSIVE, OR EXPECTED…
• but what deserves our LIMITED TIME and our deepest commitment.
• Keep that question in mind. We will return to it at THE END.

LAND THISReassure — here's the map, you won't be lost.

• 

• We will explore FIVE CONNECTED IDEAS:
• LIFE AS A DECISION TREE…
• VALUES AND MISSION as our compass…
• the EXTERNAL FORCES that pull us…
• the INTERNAL FORCES that push us…
• and how to TEST WHAT IS TRULY WORTH LIVING FOR.

LAND THISName the fear they haven't said out loud.

• 

• This question feels especially urgent in the AI ERA.
• Many of us INVESTED YEARS learning software engineering.
• Now AI IS MOVING from assisting us to completing longer engineering tasks.
• Some of you may be WONDERING:
• "If AI WRITES MOST OF THE CODE, what happens to the work I trained for?"
• That can create a real IDENTITY CRISIS.
• But perhaps it also pushes us toward a DEEPER QUESTION:
• If ONE ACTIVITY OR SKILL is no longer enough to define our professional life…
• what is actually worth BUILDING OUR LIVES AROUND?
• One thing I have genuinely loved about AI is the CREATIVE SIDE.
• I love AI, and I love KYRGYZSTAN…
• so I asked it to generate a colorful 3D YURT.
• Hold that thought. We will come back to it at THE END.

LAND THISMake them feel the weight of small choices.

• Think of your LIFE AS A DECISION TREE.
• EVERY YES and EVERY NO creates a branch.
• Big decisions matter, but SMALL CHOICES ACCUMULATE too…
• WHAT WE STUDY, who we spend time with, and how we respond under pressure.

• 

• Together, those choices SHAPE WHO WE BECOME.

• 

• On the LEFT SIDE of the tree is the past.
• The green line shows the PATH WE ACTUALLY TOOK.
• The black lines show BRANCHES NOW CLOSED to us.

• 

• On the RIGHT SIDE is the future… fanning outward from today. 💬 QUOTE about the future [Hallo! My name is Forrest. Forrest Gump! You wanna chock-let?? My MOM always SAID...LIFE was LIKE a box of CHOCK-LETS. (mouthful) You never KNOW what you're GONNA GET!]

LAND THISAdmit the uncertainty honestly — don't paper over it.

• 

• THE FUTURE is not one straight, predictable line.
• It contains BRANCHES WHOSE DESTINATIONS we cannot yet see.
• That UNCERTAINTY can feel overwhelming, especially when we fear choosing wrong.

• 

• But our path is NOT COMPLETELY RANDOM.
• EACH DECISION nudges us in one direction or another.
• We rarely know which choice will become a MAJOR TURNING POINT.
• A SMALL DECISION TODAY may open or close branches years later.
• So how should we NAVIGATE A TREE when we cannot see where every branch ends?

LAND THISHold up the trap so they recognise themselves in it.

• 

• One approach is DESTINATIONAL THINKING.
• It sounds like, "I must reach this MILESTONE BY THIS AGE."
• Or, "I must achieve this TITLE OR INCOME by next year."
• GOALS are not the problem. Goals can be helpful.
• The problem is treating ONE DESTINATION as the only acceptable definition of success.
• If that outcome does not happen, we may feel the ENTIRE JOURNEY WAS WASTED.

LAND THISOffer the way out.

• 

• A better approach for an unpredictable tree is DIRECTIONAL LIVING.
• Instead of demanding one fixed endpoint, choose a MEANINGFUL DIRECTION.
• Take the next step that feels a little "WARMER"… more aligned with your values.
• But we only discover WARMER OR COLDER by moving!
• Directional living does not mean living WITHOUT GOALS.
• In fact, goals become FLEXIBLE MILESTONES that serve your direction rather than define your worth.
• If ONE path CLOSES, we can choose another path that still honors the same values.
• We remain COMMITTED TO THE DIRECTION without becoming trapped by one outcome.

LAND THISMake it concrete for the job they actually have.

Deck action: combine the two AI slides into one concise application slide.

• 

• This matters especially for SOFTWARE ENGINEERS today.
• Do not build your IDENTITY AROUND ONE TOOL, language, or job activity.
• Choose a DIRECTION BROAD ENOUGH to remain meaningful as technology changes:
• learn SYSTEMS THINKING, make sound judgments, and earn human trust.
• As IMPLEMENTATION BECOMES FASTER, engineers increasingly decide what and why to build…
• SET BOUNDARIES, evaluate tradeoffs, and validate the results.
• AI CAN ACCELERATE us along a branch.
• But it CANNOT DECIDE which branch is worth taking.
• So how do we know WHICH DIRECTION is "warmer"?
• We need a COMPASS.

LAND THISHand them a tool they can use tomorrow.

• Values and mission can become your INTERNAL COMPASS.
• Think of them as your personal NORTH STAR.
• A North Star is NOT A DESTINATION you expect to reach.
• It is a STABLE REFERENCE POINT that helps you maintain direction when paths diverge.

• 

• One practical way to put that North Star into words is a LIFE MISSION STATEMENT.
• It should be broad enough to guide MANY SEASONS of life…
• but SPECIFIC ENOUGH to help us make a difficult choice.
• When FACING A DECISION, ask:
• "DOES THIS MOVE ME toward my mission and values… or away from them?" (again the whole "warmer & colder game"!)

LAND THISShow it isn't one-size-fits-all.

Deck action: retain Richard Branson and Maya Angelou. Remove the other three leader examples.

• 

• RICHARD BRANSON's mission emphasized enjoying the journey and learning from mistakes.
• I like that because it focuses on HOW HE WANTED TO LIVE, not one perfect destination.

• 

• AMANDA STEINBERG chose something far more specific:
• to cultivate the SELF-WORTH AND NET-WORTH of women around the world.

• 

• MAYA ANGELOU said her mission was not merely to survive, but to thrive…
• with PASSION, COMPASSION, humor, and style.
• DIFFERENT WORDS, different people… but each expresses a direction for living.

LAND THISGo first. Be the one who's exposed.

• Here is MY OWN MISSION STATEMENT:

• 

• "LOVE GOD AND LOVE PEOPLE by equipping them with knowledge and skills to reach their potential, both professionally and personally."
• It captures WHAT I VALUE MOST… faith, people, and helping others grow.
• A clear mission does not REMOVE UNCERTAINTY.
• It gives us a COMPASS WHEN CIRCUMSTANCES CHANGE.
• It has GUIDED ME through business, teaching, software development, mentoring, and family life.
• Those activities are DIFFERENT BRANCHES, but they can still move in the same direction.

LAND THISSet up the confession.

Deck action: move quickly through the past tree and retain the external-versus-internal framework.

• 

• Let's return to the LEFT SIDE of the tree and examine the path I actually took in my life.
• Why did SOME BRANCHES CLOSE while others became "my life"?

• 

• TWO BROAD FORCES shaped those decisions.
• EXTERNAL FACTORS include circumstances, culture, expectations, and other people.
• INTERNAL FACTORS include ambition, fear, envy, desire, and previous choices.
• Even with a compass, external forces can PULL US and internal forces can push us off course.

But having a compass and following it are two different things. Let me show you where I stopped following mine.

LAND THISLet them off the hook — nobody told us, we absorbed it.

Deck action: condense approval, optics, and cultural expectations into one teaching sequence.

• Many OUTSIDE VOICES are well-intentioned.

• 

• But we can start making decisions mainly to GAIN APPROVAL or avoid disappointing people.
• "WHAT WILL OTHERS SAY?"
• This is living for OPTICS… choosing what looks successful in other people's eyes.
• Sometimes NOBODY DIRECTLY TELLS US what to do.
• We simply ABSORB THE EXPECTATIONS around us until they feel like our own voice.

• 

• Growing up ASIAN AMERICAN, success often appeared to follow one script:
• STUDY HARD, get into good university, find a good job, get a good salary, find a good spouse, and raise good children…who will STUDY HARD, etc!
• None of those things are INHERENTLY WRONG.
• The problem begins when one script becomes ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALL.
• A life can look IMPRESSIVE FROM THE OUTSIDE while quietly moving away from what fulfills us inside.

LAND THISGet them examining their own default path.

Deck action: cut the plain roadmap slide; keep "Default DECISIONS" and the QUESTION slide.

• 

• Here’s an illustration of the "one size fits all" life plan telling you what you SHOULD do.
• The trap here is making DECISIONS BY DEFAULT.
• And it’s a "trap" because often businesses, society and culture can make these decisions for us without us even realizing it!
• Now defaults do not REMOVE FREEDOM, but they quietly influence what most people choose.
• Classic example is SOCIAL MEDIA… The next item in your feed appears automatically, so we keep scrolling!

• 

• ASK YOURSELF:
• "AM I FOLLOWING THIS PATH because it fits me… or because it is simply there or expected?"
• A default path is not necessarily bad. But it should be a CONSCIOUS CHOICE.

For me, the pull was not a bad script. It was a good dream — that got delayed.

LAND THISLet them see you young and hopeful.

Deck action: condense the dream and delay into one personal-story sequence.

• 

• FROM CHILDHOOD, I dreamed of living overseas, learning another culture, and helping people grow.
• When I met Elaine and discovered she shared that same dream, I thought, "THIS IS THE ONE!"
• Our parents had grown up together in HONG KONG, but Elaine and I met just before university.
• We considered faith, personality, and whether we could build a LIFE together.
• We planned to MOVE ABROAD after getting married.

• 

• But education, geography, and TIMING DELAYED US.
• I returned to SILICON VALLEY, and our overseas dream had to wait.
• External circumstances DELAYED THE DREAM…
• but what happened next was increasingly shaped by my INTERNAL DESIRES.

LAND THISAdmit the envy plainly.

Deck action: condense the Silicon Valley setup into one slide.

• 

• Silicon Valley in the 1990s was full of EXTRAORDINARY OPPORTUNITIES.
• But that environment also intensified my AMBITION, ENVY, and desire for recognition.
• I began MEASURING MY LIFE against the success of people around me.
• The more EXTRAORDINARY THEIR OUTCOMES became, the more ordinary my own life began to feel.
• COMPARISON quietly changed the destination I thought I needed to reach.

Let me tell you about three men I measured myself against.

Deck action: keep three fast visual reveals, but reduce each story to its essential detail. Retain the lesson slide.

• First was JEFF SKOLL, a running buddy who told me about an online-auction idea.
• I remember thinking, "An ONLINE GARAGE SALE? That does not sound promising."
• I PASSED. He became eBay's first full-time employee and eventually a billionaire.

• 

• Meanwhile, my STARTUP FAILED, and comparison turned into envy.
• I began jumping from startup TO startup, hoping the next opportunity would prove my success.

• 

• Later, my company competed with X.COM, founded by the not-yet-famous Elon Musk.
• At that time, none of us could see how ENORMOUS that small branch would become.

• 

• Still later, AMAZON ACQUIRED our company, and I worked under Jeff Bezos.
• On paper, I had reached a DREAM DESTINATION.

• LAND THISConfess what it cost your family.

• But I was working so much that I RARELY SAW MY CHILDREN.
• I said my mission was to LOVE GOD AND LOVE PEOPLE…
• yet I was NOT EVEN LOVING MY OWN FAMILY well!
• Many days, I left before my CHILDREN WOKE UP and returned after they went to sleep.
• The lesson was not that I had chosen the WRONG BILLIONAIRE to follow.

• 

• It was that THEIR BRANCHES WERE NOT MY BRANCHES.
• Their OUTCOMES could not become my compass.
• The RIGHT QUESTION WAS NOT, "How can I become more like them?"
• It was, "AM I BECOMING THE PERSON my own values call me to be?"

LAND THISBring the room to stillness.

• Understanding that intellectually was one thing. BREAKING FREE was another.

• 

• Then came SEPTEMBER 11.
• I watched the TWIN TOWERS COLLAPSE live on television.
• I had stood on top of one of those towers during a CHILDHOOD FAMILY TRIP, so the image felt personal.
• Later, I learned that my university classmate TODD BEAMER had been on United flight 93.
• ONE IMAGE remains vivid…
• thousands of office papers RAINING OVER MANHATTAN.
• Minutes earlier, those documents probably seemed EXTREMELY IMPORTANT.
• Suddenly, they were MEANINGLESS SCRAPS.
• That image MIRRORED MY LIFE.
• I had placed ultimate value on things that could TURN TO DUST…
• MONEY, STATUS, AND TITLES.

LAND THISShow them the turn was possible.

• September 11 did NOT GIVE ME A NEW DESTINATION.
• It helped me RECOVER MY DIRECTION.
• I decided to let my MISSION BECOME MY COMPASS again.
• Elaine and I returned to our OVERSEAS DREAM.

• NEW

  Kyrgyzstan

  (photo — Bishkek or the Ala-Too range, ideally the same mountains as your title slide)

• That direction eventually brought us to KYRGYZSTAN.
• We COULD NOT PREDICT exactly where that branch would lead…
• but we knew it pointed toward OUR VALUES.
• That is DIRECTIONAL LIVING: not knowing the entire route, but recognizing the next step was aligned to our values.

But how do you know what belongs at the center of the compass? Here is the test I use.

• 

• We have ESTABLISHED A COMPASS and seen what can pull and push us off track.
• Now return to our OPENING QUESTION:

• 

• WHAT IS TRULY WORTH LIVING FOR?

• 

• LAND THISHand them the test.

• Here is the ULTIMATE FILTER:
• "Is this something I would be WILLING TO DIE FOR?"
• "LIVING FOR" something can sound unlimited and cost-free.
• "DYING FOR" reminds us that life is limited.
• It forces us to consider SACRIFICE… what we would actually surrender.
• Wealth and career are NOT INHERENTLY BAD.
• But for me, they did not deserve to become my ULTIMATE VALUES.
• My FAITH, FAMILY, and mission of helping others did.
• The question is not whether SOMETHING HAS VALUE.
• The question is whether it deserves the HIGHEST PLACE in your life.
• What would you SACRIFICE GREATLY for?
• Those are the strongest candidates for the CENTER OF YOUR COMPASS.

LAND THISMake them feel it was one argument, not five topics.

• 

• EVERY CHOICE creates a branch…
• VALUES AND MISSION provide a compass…
• EXTERNAL AND INTERNAL FORCES can distort that compass…
• and DIRECTIONAL LIVING means continuing toward what matters most.

LAND THISMake them move. The default came off — and they crossed the room.

Deck action: two yurt animations — with arrows, then without.

• NEW

  Spinning yurt — WITH red arrows

  (the animation you already have; arrows suggesting the direction)

• Let me end with that YURT.
• Watch which way it is SPINNING.
• HANDS UP if you see it turning CLOCKWISE.
• Now do not just think it — COMMIT to it.
• STAND UP, and move to THIS SIDE of the room.

• NEW

  Spinning yurt — NO arrows

  (same yurt, same spin; arrows removed)

• SAME YURT. Same spin.
• I have only taken away the ARROWS.
• Now, using NOTHING BUT YOUR MIND…
• decide it is spinning THE OTHER WAY.
• When it flips for you — WALK ACROSS.
• Some of you cannot flip it yet. That is HONEST.
• And it is worth noticing how hard a DEFAULT is to break… even when you can see it is ARBITRARY.
• Those arrows were a DEFAULT DECISION.
• Nobody FORCED you. They only SUGGESTED.
• And almost every one of us WENT ALONG WITH IT.
• That is what a SCRIPT does.
• That is what OPTICS do.
• That is what "WHAT WILL OTHERS SAY" does.
• Then the arrows came off…
• and you did not just THINK differently. You MOVED.
• Now — this is a trick of PERCEPTION, not of physics.
• I am not telling you that you can think your way out of GRAVITY.
• But the DIRECTION YOUR LIFE IS POINTING?
• That one really does depend on WHERE YOU DECIDE TO LOOK.

• 

• AI CAN ACCELERATE us along a branch…
• but it CANNOT DECIDE which branch is worth taking.
• So DECIDE WHAT IS TRULY WORTH LIVING and DYING(!) FOR.
• Keep it in FRONT OF YOUR MIND.
• Let it guide your NEXT DECISION…

• 

• and gradually shape the LIFE YOU BUILD.