Verbatim Script · 22 Sections

• GOOD MORNING, everyone! My name is FuMing.
• Yesterday, Rachel showed us the POWER OF DECISION TREES.
• Today I want to talk about a MORE PERSONAL KIND…
• your LIFE DECISION TREE.
• Every life contains BRANCHES, CHOICES, and paths not taken.
• So let's begin with ONE QUESTION:
• WHAT IS TRULY WORTH LIVING FOR?
• Not merely what is USEFUL, IMPRESSIVE, OR EXPECTED…
• but what deserves our LIMITED TIME and our deepest commitment.
• Keep that question in mind. We will return to it at THE END.

• We will explore FIVE CONNECTED IDEAS:
• LIFE AS A DECISION TREE…
• VALUES AND MISSION as our compass…
• the EXTERNAL FORCES that pull us…
• the INTERNAL FORCES that push us…
• and how to TEST WHAT IS TRULY WORTH LIVING FOR.

• This question feels especially urgent in the AI ERA.
• Many of us INVESTED YEARS learning software engineering.
• Now AI IS MOVING from assisting us to completing longer engineering tasks.
• Some of you may be WONDERING:
• "If AI WRITES MORE OF THE CODE, what happens to the work I trained for?"
• That can create a real IDENTITY CRISIS.
• But perhaps it also pushes us toward a DEEPER QUESTION:
• If ONE ACTIVITY OR SKILL is no longer enough to define our professional life…
• what is worth BUILDING OUR LIVES AROUND?

• Think of your LIFE AS A DECISION TREE.
• EVERY YES and EVERY NO creates a branch.
• Big decisions matter, but SMALL CHOICES ACCUMULATE too…
• WHAT WE STUDY, who we spend time with, and how we respond under pressure.
• Together, those choices SHAPE WHO WE BECOME.
• On the LEFT SIDE of the tree is the past.
• The green line shows the PATH WE ACTUALLY TOOK.
• The black lines show BRANCHES NOW CLOSED to us.
• On the RIGHT SIDE is the future… fanning outward from today.

• THE FUTURE is not one straight, predictable line.
• It contains BRANCHES WHOSE DESTINATIONS we cannot yet see.
• That UNCERTAINTY can feel overwhelming, especially when we fear choosing wrong.
• But our path is NOT COMPLETELY RANDOM.
• EACH DECISION nudges us in one direction or another.
• We rarely know which choice will become a MAJOR TURNING POINT.
• A SMALL DECISION TODAY may open or close branches years from now.
• So how should we NAVIGATE A TREE when we cannot see where every branch ends?

• One approach is DESTINATIONAL THINKING.
• It sounds like, "I must reach this MILESTONE BY THIS AGE."
• Or, "I must achieve this TITLE OR INCOME by next year."
• GOALS are not the problem. Goals can be helpful.
• The problem is treating ONE DESTINATION as the only acceptable definition of success.
• If that outcome does not happen, we may feel the ENTIRE JOURNEY WAS WASTED.
• We may also overlook an UNEXPECTED BRANCH that could be better for us.

• A better approach for an unpredictable tree is DIRECTIONAL LIVING.
• Instead of demanding one fixed endpoint, choose a MEANINGFUL DIRECTION.
• Take the next step that feels a little "WARMER"… more aligned with your values.
• But we only discover WARMER OR COLDER by moving.
• Directional living does not mean living WITHOUT GOALS.
• Goals become FLEXIBLE MILESTONES that serve your direction rather than define your worth.
• If ONE ROUTE CLOSES, we can choose another route that still honors the same values.
• We remain COMMITTED TO THE DIRECTION without becoming trapped by one outcome.

Deck action: combine the two AI slides into one concise application slide.

• This matters especially for SOFTWARE ENGINEERS today.
• Do not build your IDENTITY AROUND ONE TOOL, language, or job activity.
• Choose a DIRECTION BROAD ENOUGH to remain meaningful as technology changes:
• understand WHOLE SYSTEMS, make sound judgments, keep learning, and earn human trust.
• As IMPLEMENTATION BECOMES FASTER, engineers increasingly decide what and why to build…
• SET BOUNDARIES, evaluate tradeoffs, and validate the results.
• AI CAN ACCELERATE us along a branch.
• But it CANNOT DECIDE which branch is worth taking.
• So how do we know WHICH DIRECTION is "warmer"?
• We need a COMPASS.

• Values and mission become that INTERNAL COMPASS.
• Think of them as your personal NORTH STAR.
• A North Star is NOT A DESTINATION you expect to reach.
• It is a STABLE REFERENCE POINT that helps you maintain direction when paths diverge.
• One practical way to put that North Star into words is a LIFE MISSION STATEMENT.
• It should be broad enough to guide MANY SEASONS of life…
• but SPECIFIC ENOUGH to help us make a difficult choice.
• When FACING A DECISION, ask:
• "DOES THIS MOVE ME toward my mission and values… or away from them?"

Deck action: retain Richard Branson and Maya Angelou. Remove the other four leader examples.

• RICHARD BRANSON's mission emphasized enjoying the journey and learning from mistakes.
• I like that because it focuses on HOW HE WANTED TO LIVE, not one perfect destination.
• MAYA ANGELOU said her mission was not merely to survive, but to thrive…
• with PASSION, COMPASSION, humor, and style.
• DIFFERENT WORDS, different people… but both express a direction for living.

• Here is MY OWN MISSION STATEMENT:
• "LOVE GOD AND LOVE PEOPLE by equipping them with knowledge and skills to reach their potential, both professionally and personally."
• It captures WHAT I VALUE MOST… faith, people, and helping others grow.
• A clear mission does not REMOVE UNCERTAINTY.
• It gives us a COMPASS WHEN CIRCUMSTANCES CHANGE.
• It has GUIDED ME through business, teaching, software development, mentoring, and family life.
• Those activities are DIFFERENT BRANCHES, but they can still move in the same direction.

Deck action: move quickly through the past tree and retain the external-versus-internal framework.

• Let's return to the LEFT SIDE of the tree and examine my actual path.
• Why did SOME BRANCHES CLOSE while others became my life?
• TWO BROAD FORCES shaped those decisions.
• EXTERNAL FACTORS include circumstances, culture, expectations, and other people.
• INTERNAL FACTORS include ambition, fear, envy, desire, and previous choices.
• Even with a compass, external forces can PULL US and internal forces can push us off course.

But having a compass and following it are two different things. Let me show you where I stopped following mine.

Deck action: condense approval, optics, and cultural expectations into one teaching sequence.

• Many OUTSIDE VOICES are well-intentioned.
• But we can start making decisions mainly to GAIN APPROVAL or avoid disappointing people.
• "WHAT WILL OTHERS SAY?"
• This is living for OPTICS… choosing what looks successful in other people's eyes.
• Sometimes NOBODY DIRECTLY TELLS US what to do.
• We simply ABSORB THE EXPECTATIONS around us until they feel like our own voice.
• Growing up ASIAN AMERICAN, success often appeared to follow one script:
• STUDY HARD, attend a good university, find a good job, earn a good salary, and raise successful children.
• None of those things is INHERENTLY WRONG.
• The problem begins when one script becomes ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALL.
• A life can look IMPRESSIVE FROM THE OUTSIDE while quietly moving away from what fulfills us inside.

Deck action: combine the Good Life, Good Job, autopilot, and reflection material into two quick slides.

• That script promises a GOOD EDUCATION, a good job, and a stable future.
• But AI is REDEFINING THE "GOOD JOB" itself.
• We may follow a DEFAULT PATH promising certainty that the world can no longer provide.
• DEFAULTS do not remove freedom, but they quietly influence what most people choose.
• SOCIAL MEDIA does this too. The next item appears automatically, so we keep scrolling.
• ASK YOURSELF:
• "AM I FOLLOWING THIS PATH because it fits me… or because it is simply expected?"
• A default path is not necessarily bad. But it should become a CONSCIOUS CHOICE.

For me, the pull was not a bad script. It was a good dream — that got delayed.

Deck action: condense the dream and delay into one personal-story sequence.

• FROM CHILDHOOD, I dreamed of living overseas, learning another culture, and helping people grow.
• When I met Elaine and discovered she shared that dream, I thought, "THIS IS THE ONE!"
• Our parents had grown up together in HONG KONG, but Elaine and I met just before university.
• We considered faith, personality, and whether we could build a LIFE OF SERVICE together.
• We planned to MOVE ABROAD after getting married.
• But education, geography, and TIMING DELAYED US.
• I returned to SILICON VALLEY, and our overseas dream had to wait.
• External circumstances DELAYED THE DREAM…
• but what happened next was increasingly shaped by my INTERNAL DESIRES.

Deck action: condense the Silicon Valley setup into one slide.

• Silicon Valley in the 1990s was full of EXTRAORDINARY OPPORTUNITIES.
• But that environment also intensified my AMBITION, ENVY, and desire for recognition.
• I began MEASURING MY LIFE against the success of people around me.
• The more EXTRAORDINARY THEIR OUTCOMES became, the more ordinary my own life began to feel.
• COMPARISON quietly changed the destination I thought I needed to reach.

Let me tell you about three men I measured myself against.

Deck action: keep three fast visual reveals, but reduce each story to its essential detail. Retain the lesson slide.

• First was JEFF SKOLL, a running buddy who told me about an online-auction idea.
• I remember thinking, "An ONLINE GARAGE SALE? That does not sound promising."
• I PASSED. He became eBay's first full-time employee and eventually a billionaire.
• Meanwhile, my STARTUP FAILED, and comparison turned into envy.
• I began jumping from COMPANY TO COMPANY, hoping the next opportunity would prove my success.
• Later, my company competed with X.COM, founded by the not-yet-famous Elon Musk.
• At that time, none of us could see how ENORMOUS that small branch would become.
• Still later, AMAZON ACQUIRED our company, and I worked under Jeff Bezos.
• On paper, I had reached a DREAM DESTINATION.
• But I was working so much that I RARELY SAW MY CHILDREN.
• I said my mission was to LOVE GOD AND LOVE PEOPLE…
• yet I was NOT LOVING MY OWN FAMILY well.
• Many days, I left before my CHILDREN WOKE UP and returned after they went to sleep.
• The lesson was not that I had chosen the WRONG BILLIONAIRE to follow.
• It was that THEIR BRANCHES WERE NOT MY BRANCHES.
• Their OUTCOMES could not become my compass.
• The RIGHT QUESTION WAS NOT, "How can I become more like them?"
• It was, "AM I BECOMING THE PERSON my own values call me to be?"

• Understanding that intellectually was one thing. BREAKING FREE was another.
• Then came SEPTEMBER 11.
• I watched the TWIN TOWERS COLLAPSE live on television.
• I had stood on top of one of those towers during a CHILDHOOD FAMILY TRIP, so the image felt personal.
• Later, I learned that my university classmate TODD BEAMER had been on Flight 93.
• ONE IMAGE remains vivid…
• thousands of office papers RAINING OVER MANHATTAN.
• Minutes earlier, those documents probably seemed EXTREMELY IMPORTANT.
• Suddenly, they were MEANINGLESS SCRAPS.
• That image MIRRORED MY LIFE.
• I had placed ultimate value on things that could TURN TO DUST…
• MONEY, STATUS, AND TITLES.

• September 11 did NOT GIVE ME A NEW DESTINATION.
• It helped me RECOVER MY DIRECTION.
• I decided to let my MISSION BECOME MY COMPASS again.
• Elaine and I returned to our OVERSEAS DREAM.
• That direction eventually brought us to KYRGYZSTAN.
• We COULD NOT PREDICT exactly where that branch would lead…
• but we knew it pointed toward OUR VALUES.
• That is DIRECTIONAL LIVING: not knowing the entire route, but recognizing the next values-aligned step.

But how do you know what belongs at the center of the compass? Here is the test I use.

• We have ESTABLISHED A COMPASS and seen what can distort it.
• Now return to our OPENING QUESTION:
• WHAT IS TRULY WORTH LIVING FOR?
• Here is the ULTIMATE FILTER:
• "Is this something I would be WILLING TO DIE FOR?"
• "LIVING FOR" something can sound unlimited and cost-free.
• "DYING FOR" reminds us that life is limited.
• It forces us to consider SACRIFICE… what we would actually surrender.
• Wealth and career are NOT INHERENTLY BAD.
• But for me, they did not deserve to become my ULTIMATE VALUES.
• My FAITH, FAMILY, and mission of helping others did.
• The question is not whether SOMETHING HAS VALUE.
• The question is whether it deserves the HIGHEST PLACE in your life.
• What would you SACRIFICE GREATLY for?
• Those are the strongest candidates for the CENTER OF YOUR COMPASS.

• EVERY CHOICE creates a branch…
• VALUES AND MISSION provide a compass…
• EXTERNAL AND INTERNAL FORCES can distort that compass…
• and DIRECTIONAL LIVING means continuing toward what matters most.

Deck action: retain the visual experiment and move directly into the final message.

• Let me end with a quick VISUAL EXPERIMENT.
• First, watch this BALL OF DOTS clearly spinning in one direction.
• HOLD THAT MOVEMENT in your mind.
• Now look at this AMBIGUOUS OBJECT. Which direction is it spinning?
• What we HOLD IN MIND can influence what we notice when the picture is unclear.
• Life is NOT AN OPTICAL ILLUSION, and thoughts do not magically change reality.
• But VALUES SHAPE which possibilities we notice and which branches seem possible.
• If STATUS FILLS OUR ATTENTION, we notice branches that promise recognition.
• If SERVICE FILLS OUR ATTENTION, we notice people and problems we might otherwise overlook.
• STRATEGIC DECISION-MAKING is not only about how we direct AI.
• At the largest level, it is about HOW WE DIRECT OUR LIVES.
• AI CAN ACCELERATE us along a branch…
• but it CANNOT DECIDE which branch is worth taking.
• So DECIDE WHAT IS TRULY WORTH LIVING FOR.
• Keep it in FRONT OF YOUR MIND.
• Let it guide your NEXT DECISION…
• and gradually shape the LIFE YOU BUILD.